We Want More, We Want More

Have you seen that commercial? I have no clue what it's about, but I love it. Are they scripted or are those kids just inherently hilarious? I wish I was that funny.

Well, I do want more. More of what, I don't know, but I want more. Definitely not more clothes or food or craft supplies. I want more adventure. More opportunities to help people.

I went to the Hillsong United concert the other night. While waiting in the line that wrapped all the way around the building about one and a half times, I wanted to cry. Partly because I was alone in line, and partly because it was s o  l o n g . I thought I might die in that line, honestly. I wanted to give up and spend the $20 in my pocket at the Starbucks down the street. I ended up staying in the line because I had already spent $35 on my ticket, and I deserved a good show.

Well, it was no Kim Walker-Smith, but there were a few tears shed and many smiles from me during the show. I really enjoyed the song "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" and another song talking about how Jesus is all I need.

I really want Jesus to be all I need, but He's definitely not. I need new shorts and tanks for summer, I need cute plants to decorate my sad apartment, I need chocolate to satisfy these lady-like cravings. And yeah, I need Jesus too. During this song, my heart wanted to pray that Jesus would make Himself be all I need, that I would be somehow put in a position where I actually realize He's all I need. My thoughts flew to Africa and India and the Middle East, and part of me wanted to be in their shoes, or, for the sake of this post, lack thereof. I want to just need Jesus because He's all I have, all I could ever even hope for. It feels like I could say more about this, but I'm just not sure what that is.

The other song, "Oceans", really got to me, as it did a lot of others I suspect. First off, the girl's voice is D Y N A M I T E and somehow belongs to a tiny person, so that's legit. Second, the lyrics just made me want to leave and be pushed to the end of my rope. I've been living off this high for the last couple days and can't get my mind away from the simple fact that I want my faith to be stretched so far, I want to be used to help/love/save/comfort, I want to GO.

I have no idea where this is, when, how, who. I got nothin'. But God is definitely stirring something in my heart and I know there's something out there that's going to be more satisfying than working at Starbucks or customer service or babysitting.

I'm thankful that God chooses to use us for His purpose and to draw people to Him.

a w e s o m e .

Woes of a Woman

Okay, don't get me wrong, I love being a woman. Dressing up is fun, eventually having babies, yadda yadda. But sometimes it sucks because you can't quite do all the things that men do. Well, as long as you want to be safe I guess.

I watched a documentary called "Craigslist Joe" last night. It's about this guy who was solely dependent on Craigslist ads to live for 31 days. He started with no money, no food, no extra clothes or anything, just a phone (with a new phone number so he wouldn't contact/be contacted by people he already knew), the clothes on his back, and a laptop (with a new e-mail address too).  He started out in LA and worked his way up to Seattle, over to Chicago, east to New York, down to Florida, Mexico, and ended up back in LA just in time for his 31 days to be over. He relied ONLY on Craigslist posts for everything: food, shelter, rides, activities, etc. This led him to meet so many different kinds of people, see new parts of the world, so many cool things!

Part of me wants to be able to do that. Just drop everything and head out. No responsibilities, no places you need to be unless you want to, just hop on a bus or in someone's car and go... anywhere. And now is the best time for me to do it! No REAL responsibilities, no career, no husband or children, no house payment.

But then there's the part of me that is conscious of the way women are taken advantage of in this world, and here comes Debbie Downer. Wah wah.

I assure you, if I were a man, I'd be out there in a second.